Sunday, January 4, 2009

Coffee, but alas, no chemistry

Today I met with Joe the Sculptor (not to be confused with Joe the Plumber) from

For argument's sake, I'll call this a first date, but really it was just a first meeting. I don't count them as real dates unless we're both sure we're interested in each other. This was more of an extension of the initial online feeling-out process.


Tall and lanky Joe emailed me first, not put off by my vertically challenged stature (even though his profile did say he was interested in 5'6" and up!), but curious about my sparkling prose and cute photos. Some intelligent banter ensued through emails, followed by a so-so phone call.

I had to go on vacation to visit my family for the holidays, but when I got back, Joe set up a meeting with me for the following Sunday.


We met at a quaint cafe in his neighborhood. Upon first meeting, there was an immediate strange vibe from him, which made my energy a little lower than usual. I tend to be peppy and talkative on these dates, but instead I was subdued. Sure, I was still articulate, but I just wasn't giving much energy.

He was just as pictured, tall and lanky, although he was wearing glasses. I'm somewhat nerdy myself, so that was no problem. Kind of cute. I don't drink coffee, but Joe was kind enough to buy me a frosty and tart San Pellegrino Limonata even though I offered to pay my own way.

I was not comfortable in the cafe. As lovely as it was, it was so damn quiet and with the tables so close together that I had no privacy. I'm not ashamed of doing online dating at all, but I choose the people with whom I share myself. Strangers eavesdropping at other tables? Not so much.

In the end, even though he had greeted me with a polite handshake, there was none upon leaving. You know where this is going, right?


I was wondering if I needed to email him a "thank you, but there was no chemistry" note when he beat me to it a few hours later. What a gentleman! No, really. Some folks would prefer not to get that kind of rejection, but frankly, since I wasn't feeling it either, it was a relief that he was so upfront about things.

If I had to guess actually, I think he just wasn't attracted to me, which is why I got that vibe from the get-go. Makes sense.

So not a total loss since he was such a decent guy. At least my pre-screening has improved since my early days online!



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